Nevertheless Haman refrained himself: and when he came home, he sent and called for his friends, and Zeresh his wife.

ESTHER 5:10KJV
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What does Esther 5:10 mean?

Esther 5:10 describes how Haman, though upset, managed to control his anger and went home, where he gathered his friends and his wife Zeresh. The verse shows Haman choosing to keep his feelings in check publicly and seeking comfort or advice from those close to him.

In this scene from the book of Esther, Haman has just left a banquet with the king and queen, feeling slighted by Mordecai’s refusal to honor him. Instead of reacting immediately, Haman "refrained himself" and waited until he was in private to call for his friends and wife. This moment sets up the next part of the story, where Haman will discuss his frustrations and plot his next move.

The Hebrew behind Esther 5:10

  • The word "refrained" (עָפַק, 'afaq) means to hold back or restrain oneself. This highlights Haman’s effort to suppress his anger, showing a deliberate choice not to act on his emotions in public.
  • "Home" (בַּיִת, bayit) is a common word for house or household, emphasizing that Haman waited until he was in his own private space before expressing his true feelings.
  • "Friends" (אֹהֵב, ohev) is often translated as "loved ones" or "companions," suggesting that Haman surrounded himself with people he trusted for support or counsel.
  • "Zeresh" (זֶרֶשׁ, Zeresh) is named specifically as Haman’s wife, indicating her importance in his personal life and in the events that follow.

Why Esther 5:10 matters

  • Esther 5:10 clarifies that Haman was capable of self-control, at least outwardly, which adds complexity to his character and motives.
  • The verse sets the stage for the next developments in the story, showing that Haman’s actions are not impulsive but discussed and planned with others.
  • By mentioning both friends and Zeresh, the verse hints at the influence these close relationships will have on Haman’s decisions, which becomes important in the unfolding narrative.

Where else these words appear

“Zeresh” Hebrew H2238 · used in 3 verses

  • Esther 5:14 Then said Zeresh his wife and all his friends unto him, Let a gallows be made of fifty cubits high, and to morrow speak thou unto the king that Mordecai may be hanged thereon: then go thou in merrily with the king unto the banquet. And the thing pleased Haman; and he caused the gallows to be made.
  • Esther 6:13 And Haman told Zeresh his wife and all his friends every thing that had befallen him. Then said his wise men and Zeresh his wife unto him, If Mordecai be of the seed of the Jews, before whom thou hast begun to fall, thou shalt not prevail against him, but shalt surely fall before him.

“refrained” Hebrew H662 · used in 7 verses

  • Genesis 43:31 And he washed his face, and went out, and refrained himself, and said, Set on bread.
  • 1 Samuel 13:12 Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the LORD: I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering.
  • Isaiah 63:15 Look down from heaven, and behold from the habitation of thy holiness and of thy glory: where is thy zeal and thy strength, the sounding of thy bowels and of thy mercies toward me? are they restrained?

“Haman” Hebrew H2001 · used in 45 verses

  • Esther 3:1 After these things did king Ahasuerus promote Haman the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, and advanced him, and set his seat above all the princes that were with him.
  • Esther 5:8 If I have found favour in the sight of the king, and if it please the king to grant my petition, and to perform my request, let the king and Haman come to the banquet that I shall prepare for them, and I will do to morrow as the king hath said.
  • Esther 7:6 And Esther said, The adversary and enemy is this wicked Haman. Then Haman was afraid before the king and the queen.